The medical marvels of today helped a few weeks ago when the blessed local pug bit my ear ‘acci-dental-ly’. My good ear was fortunately safe. The left one went right into the maw of the dawg. It spared my पग and I could run to safety.
Then I realised that I needed a new ear. Unlike kidneys where one can procure at a price from an unsuspecting living gullible person with the right connects in the kidney mafia, the ear mafia relies on the cadaveric version of the auditory appendage.
In any case the dog owner was kind enough to lend me his kin’s right ear, a kin who had, I was told, recently travelled upwards. While the white clothed men with SARS mask went about the job, I was contemplating whether I would hear ‘voices’. To cut the long story short, the operation was successful and I now sport a new ear.
A few days earlier I was told that the kin was actually a pig – a she at that – quite like the Empress at Blandings. I was shocked, aghast and astounded. I scolded the dog owner. He replied – “Do not worry. You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Anything else can be made!”
I hate these literary fellows. I now have a left right ear and a right left ear from the bite.
Actually people have been asking for ears long time ago. William from the Avon tells me. Mark my words he does not Tell a lie. Antony marked his funeral oration with the classic request for ears – (quite corny if you ask me).
Every time I used to prostrate in front of my elders they told me – मेरी उम्र भी तुम्हे लग जाये . I used not only get some goodies for doing so, but I now know they have been lending their years to me.
But… Today I look forward to a new year of a different kind not an odd one like the one I am about see the end of but a nice even one at that.
I am hoping to lend my pigskin to some unsuspecting football lover – for a price of course. I am also going to generously give away my years (at least that I will feel young). Unlike what I did a couple of years back when I was in to predicting – see here if you have the time – I wish to point out that, 2014 = 2 * 19 * 53. Quite rummy I know but figures do not lie.
The question you all have to ask today is whether you are the eternal optimist keeping awake at midnight to welcome the New Year or the pessimist who is desperately trying to keep awake to make sure that the odd old year does indeed vanish at the stroke of midnight.
Happy New Year! To all of you – and please get back to your whisky, beer, or goat’s milk (Obelix are you listening?) and drown your last year sorrows…