Seven things you do for making a successful non controversial Hindi (or for that matter any language) movie in India
- Avoid critical references to professions – No movie that ends in *karan in Tamil or references to barbers, oil merchants or any other professions – you will attract a ban at least three states which would puncture your planned income – remember Billu xxx?
- No names that are in the list of 1008 names for the Trinity and all the other lesser gods – you are bound to get a stay in some most obscure part of India where there would a handful of descendants of those who used to worship a god/goddess of that name and you would not want that. See what happened to Rxx-Lyy
- Steer clear of sensitive topics – rape, politicians, ongoing murder trials – try to be neutral in the story – no cops, no politicians if possible
- Dresses – the actors should be dressed resembling no one in particular popular in the last decade at least.
- If the movie has to be based on a character in the million odd stories spread across Mahabharata or Ramayana make sure that the script is whetted by the 37 enlisted censor sub committees and get a non – objection certificate . Better get an anticipated stay from the court to stay other stays.
- Avoid all intimate scenes – preferable use a black patch. If you must one can always show two flowers or bird or bees. This is not a strict requirement but you would not want a perpetrator who claims that he was influenced by your movie.
There are more…